A Fathers heart
by CAT217
Summary: My take on the family finding out about the ambush and Vinny death. Missing scene from "The Bitter End." Sorry for the lame title it came to me when I wrote one of the scenes. Enjoy and always please read & review.
1. Chapter 1

**As always I do not own Blue Bloods... My spin on "The Bitter End". **

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The family sat around the table listening to Danny tell everyone about the car chase. "Dad you would have been proud," Danny bosted. "Jamie was calm and cool the whole time. He had the guy out of the car and cuffed before I even opened the car door."

"He's got a level head." Frank admitted.

"Unlike someone else we know," Erin quipped.

"Ha, ha," Danny snidley shot back making a face at his sister.

"Now, now lets be nice." Frank soft heartly joked.

They had long finished dinner and was on dessert, apple crumb pie that Linda had made.

"What are we going to do about that gang?" Danny questioned.

"Working on it." Frank started but was interupted by his cell. Looking down at it he saw Garrett name on the ID. Frank gave a smile, "excuse me." And left the room.

"That can't be good." Danny observed.

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"What happened?" Frank asked getting right to the point.

"We've got a situation." Garrett began.

"Get to the point." Frank heard a few moments of silence. "Garrett?" He asked in a low worried voice.

"Two patrolmen were ambushed in a courtyard in the Bittermen." The words tore at Frank. Two patrolmen ambushed. No, no oh please no' his mind screamed.

"Spit it out already Garrett, is he alright?" Frank asked as his voice cracked.

"Jamie is okay, one shot to his vest, but Officer Cruz wasn't as lucky, he was shot in the throat. Frank he died in Jamie arms."

Franks mouth went dry, for one selfish moment he felt relief it wasn't Jamie. Then the sickness set in, his selfish thought. Anther parent had lost a son, anther parent would feel the world slip away and stop. They would wake up to a void, nothing could or would fill it. Just an emptiness that would always be there.

"Frank, you still there?" Garrett asked.

"Yeah. Where is Jamie now?"

"St. Victors, I understand that he wants to leave."

"He stays until he has been cleared, I don't care if you have to cuff him to the examine bed." Frank ordered.

"He's not going to like that."

"Right now I don't care. How close is my detail?"

"Should be there any minute."

"Good," Frank responded and ended the call. That was the second time he'd almost lost a son. He shut his eyes, "thank you," he whispered. Frank turned his attention towards the dining room.

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"Everything alright Francis?" Henry asked his son.

"No we just lost a cop." He began. "Officer Vinny Cruz was shot and killed in the line of duty." Frank somberly told his family.

Danny jaw tightened.

"What about Jamie?" Erin sobbed.

"Jamie is okay, he was wearing his vest, he is at the hospital getting checked out. I am heading over there as soon as my detail arrives."

"I'm going," Erin shot up out of her chair, everyone began to follow lead.

"Now hold on," Frank started holding up his hands to tell them to stop.

"No, my brother is in the hospital." Erin stated defending her actions.

"And I said he is fine, I know you all love him but bombarding him all at once may not be a good thing. He was with Vinny when he died, he was hugging his dead body." The words seemed cold, but they weren't they were fact. He wasn't sure what kind of state of mind Jamie was in.

Frank looked over at Danny, "I want you down there, find me that shooter." Frank commanded.

"You know I will." Danny growled as he stormed out.

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Jamie looked down at his hands, now stained a pink color. No matter how hard he washed the blood wouldn't come out. "When can I go?" Jamie demaned.

"Sorry Reagan I've got strict orders you don't leave until the doctor has made sure you are okay." Renzulli said in a matter of fact voice.

"This is my dads doing." Jamie replied frustrated.

"Yeah, yeah it is." Renzulli had been called to help keep Jamie calm. He had purposely put those two together in hopes that Jamie would be a good influence on the young man. And he had been. The two had become good friends. Which had suprised Renzulli. Jamie hadn't said much about the shooting. He had been able to give the first responders an accurate account, but that had been it. Jamie hadn't said anything except he wanted to leave.

Jamie paced, he wanted to leave he needed to leave. He wanted to just go to his apartment and never leave. His thoughts were cut short when he saw Renzulli come to attention.

"Finally," Jamie threw his hands up in the air. He looked up at his dad, "can I please leave?"

"Has the doctor checked you out?"

Jamie crossed his arms, "no."

"Sir I'll go and see if I can get someone in here." Baker offered.

"Thank you Baker." Frank gave the young blonde woman a warm hearted smile.

"Good I just want to go home." Jamie blantly stated as he stared at his hands. I can't get them clean. Why won't they come clean? He repeated silently.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," the gray haired man apologized. "Now lets see what we have." And with that Franks detail stepped outside the curtains. "Does this hurt?" He asked Jamie.

"No," was his response.

"Okay off with the hospital gown." the doctor ordered. He didn't seem partically happy, wonder what Baker said to him. Frank grinned.

"Looks like you've got yourself a nice bruise." The doctor observed.

"There should be a hole right there." Jamie spat.

Frank felt his heart sink. "Jamie, please."

Jamie never made eye contact with his dad.

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Jamie slipped into the backseat of the SUV, and looked at his hands. Stained, with Vinnys' blood. He could feel the vile move up into his throat. Jamie fought it. Not again, he'd already threw-up twice.

"Son I'm sorry," Frank quietly told his youngest.

Somehow his fathers word wormed their way into his thoughts. "I know," was his only response.

The rest of the ride would be silent.

"Sir do you need us?"

"No, not right now. Thank you."

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Jamie was the first to enter the house, and instantly was tackled by Jack and Sean. "Hey guys." Jamie did his best to smile.

"We're sorry about your partner." They said in unison.

Jamie smile faded, "thanks," he choked out.

Erin, Linda and Henry followed by Nicki joined the youngest of the Reagan clan. Jamie looked at them, "I need a shower." He blurted out and practically ran up the steps.

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**Hope you like. Final chapter up tomorrow. I just couldn't resist all that whumpness! **


	2. Chapter 2

**And now here is the conclusion...**

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Danny nearly tore the yellow and black crime scene tape apart as he slipped under it. He looked around blood stained into the concrete. He felt a knot form in his throat. A single hand print now decorated the wall where Jamie had pulled Vinny too. Danny closed his eyes and let his nerves settle. He was okay, just keep telling yourself that Danny, his mind reminded.

"Hey Reagan," Baez called as she walked up to him.

"What do we have?" Danny placed both hands on the his side as he often did, he never could tell anyone why. He wasn't sure why he did himself.

"According to Jamie statement, they chased a perp into the courtyard here. Once Jamie realised it was a set up he tried to get Cruz that is when the first bullet hit Jamie, right in his vest. Sent him to the ground, while he managed to get behind here." She paused as she pointed to the wall. "Hey you sure you want to do this?"

"No, but Commissioner Reagan wants answers. I need to supply them." Danny let out a sigh, "alright what else."

"He saw Cruz down so taking out his own gun he fired all the while pulling his partner to safety. He did everythinng possible to try and save Cruz but the shot was fatal. He was gone in the matter of minutes."

Danny balled his fist up and gritted his teeth. "When I find them, oh when I find them." Danny growled.

"We'll get them, every last one of them." Baez assured her partner.

"Has CSU found anything?"

"Nothing as of yet. They are not leaving here until they do."

"You got that right, so the shooter is in the wind. Great just great."

"Reagan we'll get him alive or in a body bag we''ll get him."

"Preferably in the body bag." Danny replied as he look around. His brother nearly died here today.

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Jamie escape to the upstairs bathroom had been successful one. He closed the door leaned on it and flipped it locked. It wasn't long after that he was leaning into the toilet. He gasped as he leaned back up against the wall of the bathroom. He closed his eyes and the scene replayed, only this time Cruz had made it his friend was alive. Jamie scoffed, Cruz was gone. His blood still discolored Jamie hands. He'd tried everything to get it off, but nothing worked. He heard a soft knock on the door.

"Jamie, its dad."

"I'm fine, getting ready to take a shower." Eventually he added silently. Jamie heard his dad sigh and walk away. Jamie felt guilty, they just wanted to make sure he was okay. He wasn't far from it. Seconds had past and turned into minutes and Jamie brought himself up off the floor. Quickly he discarded his clothes and loooked in the mirror. Dark circles now entraced his eyes. He was paler than normal. His eyes glided down to the bruise on his chest, it was turning a greenish-yellow color now. The what-ifs ran through his mind.

Jamie slammed his fist down on the sink and stalked over to the shower. Making it as hot as he possibly could bare he slipped under the streaming water. He just stood there his hands holding him up and his head sunk between his shoulder blades. Tears mixed in with the shower water. He knew the stages of grief, he walked each one of them when Joe died. The only difference is Joe hadn't died in Jamie arms..

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Frank sat in his chair and thought about the events. He'd have to go into work and have a press conference. They had already notified Mrs. Cruz, she was devastated, Frank understood that pain all too well.

"Francis, you talk to Jamie yet?" Henry asked as he joined his son.

"He's not talking, right now he's hiding in the bathroom." Frank shook his head. "Renzulli told Baker that Jamie gave his statement then just shut down."

Henry didn't know what to say. But before he could Jamie came strolling into the room. "I'm starving." He announced.

"Um Erin made you plate its in the fridge." Henry replied looking confused.

Jamie nodded and headed that way, leaving Frank and Henry bewildered by his sudden mood swing.

"Son you alright?" Frank asked walking up to Jamie.

Jamie shrugged, "people die, grandma, mom, Joe and now Vinny." He shoveled some food into his mouth..

"Jamie its okay to be mad, its okay to be upset. But this, this is just..." Frank stopped and looked at Jamie who face was now stone cold.

"I don't want to talk about it." Jamie quietly answered.

"You don't have a choice, you'll have to talk to a grief counciler in the coming weeks." Frank told him.

Jamie tossed his fork down and pushed his plate away. "Why, why do I have to relive this? Can't I just forget about it and move on?"

"Because it will fester, then it will affect your work. It'll build up until it consumes you."

"Fine, I'm alive and for a split second I was relived that it was him and not me." The words were ugly and distasteful and Jaime loathed every one of them.

"Jamie your not the only person to have that feeling, we are human and that is our thought process. It doesn't mean you didn't care about Vinny, it just means your human. Truth is that was my exact thought when I got the call."

"Sure it makes us human, but that has never been who I am."

"I heard what you did, pulling Vinny out of harms way, you kept a level head and was able to call for help. In my book that is what heroes are."

Jamie laughed, "a hero, ya right. My partner died in my arms."

"And had he lived? It would have been your actions that had saved him. From the information that I got Vinny had a fatal injury. Nothing anyone could have done to save him."

"Doesn't make it any easier."

"And if it did I'd be worried. If you walked around here like a zombie with no feeling, no emotions I would be worried. Use this to help catch Vinny killer, but use it the right way. Nothing like what you pulled earlier when you went after your grandfathers attacker."

"Yes sir, dad do you mind if I stay here?"

"As long as you'd like." Frank pulled his youngest into a hug, he felt Jamie tighten his grip, he felt the tears soak into his shirt. He felt his son pain. "It's okay." Frank soothed.

The two men released each other, Jamie gave his father a smile... though inside there was a war within him one he wasn't sure he'd win only time would tell.

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**Hope you enjoyed reading. A tiny plug: be sure to check out my latest fic (in progress) Under and Alone. My personal multi-chapter challenge. **


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